Dragonball Evolution Made Me Cry

Yes, i just capitalized every word in my title.

Down to the point, what the hell was that? What did i just watch?

Lets start with the actors. First of all, goku is a white boy? This wouldnt bother me, but hes REALLY white. I mean, i like justin, hes a good actor. But he was NOT the person to play this role.

Next we have bulma, a role that was butchered. She tried her very best to be a total badass. Guess she didnt get the memo: bulma doesnt kick ass. And her hair... come on. Its supposed to be blue. Seriously.

Master roshi.... Fail.

Yamcha.... oh my god fail. He was by far the worst role in the movie. Even worse then goku. I also like how the only one who was supposed to look white, turned out to be one of the only asian guys. I know im adding a huge emphasis on color, which i usually dont care about, but the difference was really jarring.

Piccolo.... super fucking fail.

Basically every character in this movie failed their role. Im not gonna go into details for all of them.
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Now we have story... Was this really supposed to be dragonball? When did goku go to highschool? Why is gokus grandpa alive? Theres so many questions, id end up sitting here listing them which wouldnt help my nerd rage right now. Needless to say, the story was butchered. A bunch of rich fatcats who have never seen dragonball wrote a quick script to make money, and they failed.
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Special affects... come on. The entire candle scene made me want to punch the shit out of my television. And when he used kamehameha in the end against piccolo, the one part i was praying would be cool, was pathetic. PATHETIC. why the fuck did he jump up towards piccolo? i seriously... sigh... nerd rage...
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Finally, oozaku. Dear. fucking. god. How could they have ruined it more? They made him some alter ego to goku, which sort of makes sense if you look at it in a retarded kind of way. They practically gave oozaku his own personality. They completely misunderstood oozakus purpose, hes not a seperate being, hes just pissed off goku. And he wasnt fucking human size, he was huge.
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If you didnt bother to read that, i dont blame you. I just needed to write it down. Vent, ya know. If you read all that, and went "well the movie doesnt really sound that bad!" just trust me on this. I was too lazy (and ANGRY) to write down all the horrible, horrible points of this "movie". Sometimes, a movie folowing an anime can be watched if you didnt watch the actual anime and still seem good. But not this one. If youve never seen an episode of dragonball, you will still think this movie is garbage. If you have, then this movie is blasphemous and... Sinister and.... repulsive. They didnt even fucking add krillin.

I give the movie a 1/10. No joke, it was that fucking bad.
Fun fact: The movies review page didnt have a single score over 3/10, and most of them were also 1/10. Several people whined they couldnt vote 0/10.
Fun fact: Dragonball Evolution grossed roughly 8 million dollars in the USA. Sound like a lot? its not.


Funny quotes i found on the internet (not gonna bother giving credit)

Spoiler:

Seen it, hated it. Didn't use internet for 3 day.