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+4
Kaiden
BlackZHawk
Teashi
Ajima Hanuko
8 posters

    Ajima Hanuko

    Ajima Hanuko
    Ajima Hanuko


    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2010-06-11
    Age : 29
    Location : Ireland

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Ajima Hanuko Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:18 pm

    Name►
    Ajima Hanuko

    Info
    Spoiler:
    Shinobi Info
    Spoiler:
    Jutsus
    Spoiler:
    Story►
    Spoiler:



    I have changed my mind about my rank. I am willing to accept going for a Chunin Character if it is allowed


    Last edited by Ajima Hanuko on Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:54 pm; edited 12 times in total
    Teashi
    Teashi


    Posts : 91
    Join date : 2010-05-23
    Age : 29
    Location : Illinois

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Teashi Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:46 pm

    Akane and the Kage are trying to get as much Genin as they can, so if your to convince them to become a Jounin then you need to put it just a bit more effort in his background/story.

    Tsubame Fubuki - Snow Storm Swallows * The Swallows hone in on you right? It seems more like a rank C or B technique.

    Rouga Nadare no Jutsu - Wolf Fang Avalanche Technique * This also seems like a B rank jutsu, as it seem more advanced than some techniques. A move like this seems like one that should require an over-time chakra cost, to keep the wolves up and in form as well.

    That's all I noticed! I am not going to approve this yet, as I'd like a Kage to review it as well! : D
    BlackZHawk
    BlackZHawk


    Posts : 56
    Join date : 2010-05-27

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  BlackZHawk Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:16 pm

    Hmm... your Jounin level so why not put more jutsus in. I mean you say you like Taijutsu so put Taijutsu in.

    Get your basic ninjutsu down don't forget to put substitution or else you cannot use it. stuff like that.

    story could be longer.

    take your time in making your character.
    Kaiden
    Kaiden


    Posts : 41
    Join date : 2010-05-28

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Kaiden Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:22 am

    Do you mind putting the jusu into categorized spoilers? It really does make it easier on us
    Ajima Hanuko
    Ajima Hanuko


    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2010-06-11
    Age : 29
    Location : Ireland

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Ajima Hanuko Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:26 am

    The story will get longer as the RP is going along.
    Also its a Jounin not a Kage who need a really impressive ammount of history.

    Also the spoilers dont work. They dont open thats why i iever used them.
    Kago
    Kago


    Posts : 56
    Join date : 2010-05-24

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Kago Sat Jun 12, 2010 9:07 am

    Spoiler tags are somehow broken and don't open.

    And No, Jounin need alot of History aswell, being a Jounin is not easy, many ninja don't even reach Jounin, thats why in the Manga, there is more Chuunin/ Special Jounin than there is regular Jounin. if you have a short, boring history its more than likely your character will be boring, no real story behind them, we want characters that hold a story.
    Ell
    Ell


    Posts : 37
    Join date : 2010-06-06

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Ell Sat Jun 12, 2010 5:07 pm

    Im pretty sure smoeone already mentioned we need genin, and to be honest your character is in no way jounin status. Not even the meager amount of background you gave, only six jutsu? and two of them are from the canon show, and one of them is just making things. You might either want to add a LOT more to your character, or just try to get approved as a genin.
    Teashi
    Teashi


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    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Teashi Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:33 pm

    Everything seems ok except for your story. Your story is not your full life, your story is what has happened BEFORE the rp has started. Try making it more detailed. What I did for my Kuro character since her history was bland was actually turn it into a story/rp type thing, that way it's longer no matter how you put it. Try doing that maybe?

    Either do something to make it longer, or remove a few jutsu and be a Genin ranking to Jounin later in the rp.
    Ajima Hanuko
    Ajima Hanuko


    Posts : 3
    Join date : 2010-06-11
    Age : 29
    Location : Ireland

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Ajima Hanuko Mon Jun 14, 2010 11:25 am

    Teashi wrote:Everything seems ok except for your story. Your story is not your full life, your story is what has happened BEFORE the rp has started. Try making it more detailed. What I did for my Kuro character since her history was bland was actually turn it into a story/rp type thing, that way it's longer no matter how you put it. Try doing that maybe?

    Either do something to make it longer, or remove a few jutsu and be a Genin ranking to Jounin later in the rp.



    I completely Changed it... Was bored during my junior cert and thought about it....XD
    Kenji
    Kenji


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    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Kenji Mon Jun 14, 2010 2:13 pm

    I think dropping down to Chunin was a good idea. I will approve if any other Kuro/Kage will.
    Kaiden
    Kaiden


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    Join date : 2010-05-28

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Kaiden Mon Jun 14, 2010 4:17 pm

    We're not currently accepting Chuunin characters
    Kenji
    Kenji


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    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Kenji Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:01 am

    I was talking with Teashi and he said it would be a good idea.
    Teashi
    Teashi


    Posts : 91
    Join date : 2010-05-23
    Age : 29
    Location : Illinois

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Teashi Tue Jun 15, 2010 12:33 pm

    Kenji wrote:I was talking with Teashi and he said it would be a good idea.

    I said his character sheet was at a Chunin level right now, I never said it was a good idea : 3
    Chi
    Chi


    Posts : 17
    Join date : 2010-06-04

    Ajima Hanuko Empty Re: Ajima Hanuko

    Post  Chi Tue Jun 15, 2010 4:23 pm

    The first thing I clicked on, I saw age, gender, picture, and personality. Your personality is two lines long. Unacceptable. You wanted Jonin, then decided you'd settle for Chunin. I wouldn't approve this for Genin. He strips when he talks and pukes when he sees bearded ladies don't count as personality. You have 8 words of actual personality in there. And so help me God if I see one more "lazy genius" profile, I WILL BAN THE LOT OF YOU. For the love of all that is good and sacred, come up with something original. Not all ninja are first in their class, most ninja are Genin and Chunin making their way to serve the village. If you care at all about ever getting approved, you'll put some serious thought into this. I'm talking at least a few sentences, preferably a paragraph. And don't give me the making it up as you RP excuse, I want to see your skills NOW. This also applies to your history. The Kyubi never attacked Kirigakure, by the way.

    Your jutsu look good. :3

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